Dear Lorenzo,
It's 11:59 p.m. and I should be asleep but I made myself a promise to write every, single, day. I made myself a promise not to waste another precious second NOT doing the things that I love most and so...even though I'm exhausted, even though I have to wake up at 5:00 a.m. to detangle my hair, start the laundry, and workout before my 10:30 a.m. hair appointment, even though I'd love nothing more than to cuddle up next to our sleeping daughter while watching the Goldbergs or Brooklyn 99...I'm writing to you instead.
Today was a good day.
A really, really good day.
It's not like I did anything particularly special. I woke up, got the kid off to school on time, went grocery shopping, did my mom's taxes, talked to my friends on facebook.
But there was one thing that made the day unlike any other I've had since you've been gone.
I lived my life with purpose today.
I purposefully stayed in the dining room and kitchen, cooking, cleaning and reading, my bedroom door shut firmly in an attempt to avoid the magnetic pull my bed has had over me for the past 2 and 1/2 years.
I purposefully stayed on the elliptical for an hour instead of watching NFL Live or the Game Show Network or anything Jussie Smollett related from the comfort of the futon.
I purposefully stayed away from the wine, the crackers and the cheese aisles at the grocery store and steered myself towards the produce section instead.
The antidepressant I'm on...it helps a lot, but...it's up to me to do the hard work. It's up to me to put down the remote control, to not buy the bag of chips, to workout instead of spending my day in bed. Nobody's going to do this for me. It's up to me to get on with my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment