Girl Interrupted

"All the stock I had was a white girl's education and a face that enchanted the men of both races.

Starvation danced with me." 
 Fenton Johnson

So...what's next?

Ten years ago I worked as an Administrative Assistant in the Career Services Department at New England School of Law. I helped the third year law students with their resumes; I helped the first and second year students schedule interviews with on-campus recruiters; and I helped my office mates by bringing them Dunkin's and keeping both their calendars and their knowledge of Lost up-to-date.  

I loved my job.

I lived in a house in Dorchester with my best friend Maggie and her twin daughters, Catarina and Monica. On Friday nights, we stayed up late watching Sister Sister, Full House and whatever movies we had rented from Blockbuster. 

I loved our home.

My friends and I spent weekends eating veggie nachos at The Blarney Stone or getting drunk off our asses at Hong Kong, before settling in at Good Times to watch the Pats play the Colts, the Steelers or any other marquee matchup of the day. 

I loved my life.

And then, on a dare, I signed up for Match.com, met Lorenzo, and the rest is history.

That was ten years ago.

I haven't worked outside of the home since.

Because my new job was to take care of Lorenzo and Amira and in so doing, I managed to forget all about me.

This story's not original, you've heard it a million times before, but it's MY story and it's the one I'm currently examining in an effort to determine what comes next.

Because I need to make sure that no matter where my life takes me, I never again put my own dreams on the back burner for so long that I start to forget ever having had a dream in the first place.

When we first met, Lorenzo was a teacher and though he cared about his students, he had become increasingly disheartened by school policy. When he got the opportunity to join the fire department he jumped at the chance and I watched my self-described "lazy as fuck" boyfriend work his ass off to earn his place on the squad.

I was SO proud of him.

And that's what I want for myself. 

To find something I can be proud of and passionate about. 

I want to wake up every morning, excited to start my day.

I want the world to be a richer place because I am in it.

I have a couple of ideas so far.

I'll let you know how it all pans out.